Coming Out of Retirement
Well you may have guess that I 'retired'; however, things have got to such a point financially that I think I'll have to come out of retirement, and start hawking my wares again.
It's all very upsetting; I'm earning what can only be described as a good salary in my day-job, and yet, somehow, I'm in over my head with credit cards and 'considation loans' - now how do you think that happened?
I'm so fucking stupid with money; I'm just a coupla hundred short each month, that's all I need to pay my debt and have an OK life; but I'm short every month and my debt grows. I've budgeted as best I can, seriously, my lifestyle is frugal now, with just the odd trapping of expense to make me 'look' normal and feel OK; the odd drink here, the odd meal out there. Nothing extravagant, just enough to make me feel like I have a life at all.
So now, I'm gonna have to sit and think, ring my credit card people and see if there's anything to be done, or else I shall be fucking strange men every other night for the next month.
How do I even feel about my last foray into prostitution? I don't know really, it's not like I'm in denial, but I have drawn a line under it. I line I now have to step across.
I'm not proud of my whoring but nor am I very ashamed. Apart from some weird, scary times, I had a good time, it was OK, people were, in general, good to me.
The lates nights are gonna kill me though!
posted by +good @ 5:40 PM
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I'm not proud of my whoring but nor am I very ashamed
Have you considered suicide? In my culture it's not considered a dishonorable thing to do, in fact, when one does kill themselves it is usually in order to preserve their honor.
I do not suggest it if you have much to look forward to, but on the other hand, I dont want you to be afraid to consider it. Your culture fears it and stigmatizes it, much like they fear and stigmatize homosexuality, but they should not.
Best of luck, and much love.
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