beau du jour

Coming Out of Retirement

2005-09-28T17:40:00.000+04:00

Well you may have guess that I 'retired'; however, things have got to such a point financially that I think I'll have to come out of retirement, and start hawking my wares again.

It's all very upsetting; I'm earning what can only be described as a good salary in my day-job, and yet, somehow, I'm in over my head with credit cards and 'considation loans' - now how do you think that happened?

I'm so fucking stupid with money; I'm just a coupla hundred short each month, that's all I need to pay my debt and have an OK life; but I'm short every month and my debt grows. I've budgeted as best I can, seriously, my lifestyle is frugal now, with just the odd trapping of expense to make me 'look' normal and feel OK; the odd drink here, the odd meal out there. Nothing extravagant, just enough to make me feel like I have a life at all.

So now, I'm gonna have to sit and think, ring my credit card people and see if there's anything to be done, or else I shall be fucking strange men every other night for the next month.

How do I even feel about my last foray into prostitution? I don't know really, it's not like I'm in denial, but I have drawn a line under it. I line I now have to step across.

I'm not proud of my whoring but nor am I very ashamed. Apart from some weird, scary times, I had a good time, it was OK, people were, in general, good to me.

The lates nights are gonna kill me though!

My Sex Life

2005-05-28T02:36:00.000+04:00

Would you believe I still have a sex life? Of my own I mean.

OK, so I'm single, and no, I don't think I'll settle down until after I retire from escorting, but, I am still a young gay lad and I do like to party.

So, I've got a few fuckbuddies if you'll pardon the term. Friendly, horny lads that I regularly have wild passionate sex with.

There's one whom I'm quite enamoured of, he's very good looking, well built, beautiful legs, and he's interesting and decent. The weird thing is he's as old as some of my 'Uncle' clients. When we met, I assumed he was in his late late 30s, but he's in his late 40s as it turns out. Can I make a relationship out of it? Difficult; we have a very sexual relationship only, and we certainly know that each of us sleeps with other fuckbuddies too. I would like to see more of him, outside of the bedroom / dungeon (I did mention we were S&M didn't I?) but I do wonder how I could introduce him as my boyfriend to my mates. They'll think him very old, and the fact that he's probably a millionaire will make them think the worst of me.

But that's bollocks, I may be a whore but I ain't no gold digger.

Sick Day

2005-05-27T05:10:00.000+04:00

Curses, if it's not one thing, it's another; I've been off work with a glandular infection, fortunately, I have no boss, nor do I require a sick-note from my doctor to take time off to recuperate. However, there's no such thing as sick pay in this business.

Naturally, I'm a safe sex boy, but condoms don't protect you from common communicable diseases like colds and flu and stuff, so I guess i'm suffering from having been in contact with too many people; I 'do' kissing you see: plus I'm a bit run down due to the late nights.

But I thought I'd update you on some of the plus points of whoring.

I've got a couple of regular clients (I say regular, but that remains to be see, remember, I've only been in this game for like five weeks now), and they're really sweet.

What I mean to say is, that, they are too old, and too out of shape to be 'attractive' to me, and yet, I'm very pleased to be with them. They like me, they like what I do, and they're nice to me. I'm not going to say they're 'respectful' (although they are) because I don't know where respect comes into the relationship; after all, I am a little bit kinky.

I think my clients respect the fact that my escort life is my bag, they don't judge me down for being a sex worker, just as i don't judge them for wanting to hire one. It's this mutual understaning of our respective needs that ensures privacy.

As for kinky, well, look away now if you're easily offended my intimate details.

Still with me? Thought so.

I'm sexually experienced, and I like experimenting and learning stuff about pleasure and people; always have. In my working life, I now get requests that even I am surprised at. I'm not shocked though, c'mon, this is the Naughties (as in the 2000's) and I understand that people have ideas in their head that they're not really gonna be able to play out with 'just anyone'.

Also, you've gotta understand that I'm not always in the mood for sex; it's not easy being turned on like a switch. If you think that you are 'always horny', then, gentle reader, you haven't slept with the men I've been with recently!

What I'm saying is, that an hour of sex when you're not 'in to it' is physically and emotionally exhausting. Nobody likes a clock-watcher, but I'm often very relieved when they've cum.

Anyway, I've found that I can sustain my interest in the session, and minimise the time spent fucking, if I indulge them in some roleplay or what-have-you.

I sell myself as being open to use / abuse. I know that sounds shocking: "use me use me" isn't normally considered an attractive chat up line, but there you go. And I know 'abuse' sounds awful, but I'm not fighting for womens lib here, and I'm not a victim; I'm a gay male sex worker.

So, I get spanked quite a lot, and it's really fun; I enjoy the spanking, and I'm learning about my thresholds and limits. I don't allow my hands to be tied because I think that could put me in danger, a small risk, but one that I would be stupid to take (besides, I have a partner for that sort of thing, more of that later).

Are you ready to hear about water sports and toilet behaviour? Probably not, but here I go.

Guys want to piss on me. Right now, I'm with 'no', but I reckon I might charge a bit extra for it, and maybe I'll add it to my reportoire. Who cares? You're in the bath tub, you shower straight away. What's pissing about? Who knows? It's just a weird thing that you don't get to do in life, a taboo perhaps; why not try it? Is it degrading? I don't see the relevance of the question. Anyway, I'll think about that another time, when I'm well and back at 'work'.

I've also been asked to shit for someone. No, not in bed or anything sexual, just as normal, in the bathroom; but he'd like to watch. Now, I'm not comfortable with that sort of thing, I'm a very private person, but then I thought to myself "hey, here's an opportunity to experience something not readily available" and I think I'll do it one day for him. I'll be able to work through any emotions of shame that I feel; it'll be like therapy. After all, we all go to the toilet, why would I feel shame? I know I will do though, but I'll work trhough it, I'll come out healthier. Plus, he's a very young and cute client, and I know it will make him happy.

Young? Oh yes, it's not all Uncles and Daddies you know. People don't hire me because they have to, they hire me because they want to.

Like a Bus

2005-05-19T01:04:00.000+04:00

Well, tonight has been 'fun'.

Some guy didn't hire me as he said I was ugly; I'm no Brad, I'm really just a boy-next-door type, but I thought this guy was rude to the extreme. I didn't blast him, we had a conversation, I pointed out that I don't stoop to such lows as insults.

Still.

Things I would like to say to punters but never will

"No way, I'm desperate but not that desperate."

"I'm a whore, I'm not blind."

"With a face like yours, there isn't enough money in the world..."

"I consider myself a plain-jane, but I'm still out of your league."

"You don't need a rent-boy, you need a beautician, STAT."

Anyway, it was a productive night in the end, do you want to hear the details? Look away now if you don't.

I had a pretty hot session with a nice guy, I made him laugh and I made him cum, and at one point what we were doing, pleasurable as it was, made my eyes water. As I was hanging there, tears streaming down my forehead, (are you getting this picture?), I thought to myself "Imagine if I was a poor little rent-boy, and these were real tears of pain and shame", it was a very poignant moment, but it didn't last thankfully.

Furthermore, I've got bookings for Thursday and Friday, although I also need to go out for drinks with mates so I'm gonna have to do some time management.

So that was my beau du jour, and now it's bed time, a girl needs her rest.

Bollocks

2005-05-16T23:59:00.000+04:00

HIV and AIDS are serious issues to contend with, and they're not far from mind at any time; regardless of how many people want to have unprotected sex with me (a lot).

But that's only the half of it.

I've got crabs.

Bollocks bollocks bollocks.

I know there's no shame, they're merely little tiny blood sucking insects that readily transfer from one person to another.

And the crazy thing is, I don't think I caught them off a client, I reckon I got them some time ago from a one night stand / fuck buddy of mine.

Oh yes, I have a sex life outside of renting, or is that too difficult for you to comprehend?

All Dressed Up and Nowhere To Go

2005-05-15T22:48:00.000+04:00

It was bound to happen, so I'm not bothered, but I've been 'stood up' a couple of times now.

Nice, interested guys, have not bothered actually going through with it. Confirmation is always a little stretched at the best of times, after all, I do things my text and messages, only speaking on the phone as the final act of confirmation.

So, I'm a little poorer than I expected this week, and yet having the time to myself is bliss, so I'm not complaining.

"I just need a hug."

2005-05-11T12:51:00.000+04:00

This isn't a Disney movie, (although if they want the Rights to produce my movie...) people don't just want some company. I'm not being taken out for meals, to the opera, or being jetted around the world on mini-breaks. No, people want a good hard shag.

"I don't do kissing" is not a phrase I've used, this is not Pretty Woman.

However, as I've said before, I have enjoyed my time with clients, and people do open up to me, we do get to discuss things; OK, i'm guarded, and I wonder how much they think I'm lying when I talk about my 'office job' - but on top of the sex, I am great company, and I do get to talk and listen a lot. It is all part of the service, but I'm pretty sure I'm good at this part.

Sometimes a client isn't as horny as you'd expect; maybe I should feel bad? Maybe they should feel embarrassed? Naw, we just moved on and have a 'nice' time.

Not So Grim

2005-05-09T00:35:00.000+04:00

I have to say, I must be blessed by the Hooker gods, because, and get this, the Clients that I've been seeing haven't been the grim mingers that you (gentle reader) might imagine.

I've got a theory, and it's a sound one, that my clients aren't paying because they have to, they're paying because they want to.

This means that I'm seeing people of all ages for dates, like from 30 upwards, which is not as old as I expected at all.

They've also been gentlemen, considerate, nice, and kind even. OK, yes, they are horny, and one or two have pushed my limits, but then I do 'advertise' my self as a boy who can take some _abuse_ so I'm well up for being thrown around a little and told what to do. Ah fantasy work, such fun - to a point.

I know I'm naïve, and that I can get into a lot of trouble; I know I could be subject to abuse, violence and even rape, but I'm doing alright so far - this client did scare me the other night, he got funny about the money and I know I've got to be professional about it. As we were talking about it, him being defensive and me being gently direct, he zoned out, i.e. he seemed to freeze, and even as I called his name, he was still 'away'. Oh gods I thought, the lights are on but the hamster's dead - shit, he's psycho.

My heart raced, adrenaline made me feel sick, but it all came good pretty quickly.

I don't know what to do about my safety; how do I find the Escort Union? When I'm old and rich I shall ruddy well set one up.

I guess if I ever did get murdered and dumped, the police could search my computers and work out my 'last movements'; sigh.

Still, excorting is like dating: always go to their house, they're less likely to kill you, and you get to drink their gin.

and the money rolls in.

2005-05-06T10:21:00.000+04:00

I kinda bet myself that I'd fail and this escorting malarky would be a one off thing.

But, I'm perversly pleased to say that I'm popular enough, and in the of Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman': "I say who, I say where, I say how much."

My second client was an Over Nighter, meaning that I 'slept over' - although it wasn't the slumber party I was hoping for - we started very very late, and I wasn't 'into him' so I guess I began to learn the porfessional detachment that a boy in my position requires.

Being an Over Nighter meant that I got paid plenty for my time; and remember, it's my time that I offer here... but considering how little sleep I got, and the early train to work in the morning, well, I earned every ¢ent.

Sex Sells, But Pants Pull

2005-05-03T10:30:00.000+04:00

But I'm not in the pants business...

Today I saw my first client, abd when I say that, I'm telling you that today, I became an Escort.

Rent Boy is more accurate really.

So, what am I feeling right now about my sudden life choice?

I'm ambivalent.